My Love Letter to Mindfulness

As I focus on the glimmers of the sun making their way through the fluffy clouds, I hear you whisper, “I’m always here for you. I’m always here.”

And you are.

You help me notice the beauty in nature

and the pain

I can see the beauty in the pain of my grief, because you remind me

How big my love is

You allow me to relish the warmth and kisses of the sun and acknowledge mother earth’s unconditional kindness in this moment.

Just this moment is what you offer

Presence and attention.

The gift of attunement.

Practicing being non-judgmental

Simply noticing

My steps on the ground

I feel grounded and supported by the earth cradling my feet

And in the difficult and painful moments

You help me notice sensations in the dark

My throat closing in because

Of something unsaid

Something dying to be said and honored

And I hold.

I hold these emotions and sensations

With the tenderness and attention they deserve

These emotions

Sometimes they tell me what needs importance

Sometimes they revisit experiences of the past

Sometimes they are a call to action

Asking, begging to wake up, speak up and act

You give me time and space to gently cradle them with love

Like how I hold a scared baby kitten who is lost from its mama

Or like the embracing of a child who needs the comforting

“Sana, sana colita de rana” the tender Spanish “There, there”

Acknowledging the presence of the pain in safety

And when I make my coffee, you help me observe

The scent that transports me to a time and space

Where my people harvested coffee and boiled the water

on outdoor clay stoves

simply noticing the fragrance and taste slows down

the morning rush

and my taste says

I love canela (cinnamon) in my coffee

And I know

The taste of café de olla is in my taste buds and DNA

Then another piece of my story floats to my heart on a giant leaf that slowly passes through the stream

I come from a long line of people who were able to find joy and presence

Even when faced with adversity, oppression, extreme poverty, violence and war

Being present in these little moments, glimmers of joy

is how you helped them get through it.

It’s how my tias and tios, primos and hermanos (aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings) prayed for better days.

It’s how when they danced, they danced with their entire body and heart

Fully present and enjoying every bit of it

It’s how they connected to their spirituality, faith, wisdom and joy.

It’s how they thrived in their resourcefulness and creativity.

It’s how my mother focused on the deliciousness of the meal

After being demeaned at work

Until one day, they spoke up for themselves and built fences around them to protect what was theirs. Their peace.

It’s how I hold my heart in stillness when it aches when another black or brown body is murdered

It’s how I breathe in and out of my belly when I notice the heat in my face, the shake in my hands, the punch in the gut when I’m not being treated with dignity.

We’ve all gotten through so much with these simple ways of noticing

Mindfulness, you help me notice

That my beloved body needs to first be tended to

So that I can reach the wise counsel within me

To proceed

And keep going. Noticing pain and joy in the same moment.

Speaking up even when I’m afraid.

And that gentle whisper, “I’m always here for you”

Is my voice. My wisdom. My intuition.

Here, now and forever.

S Mendoza